Breffni

So let's begin with Breffni, our oldest and beloved donkey.

He's grey with stripes and rather fat

If you're hiding food he'll squash you flat!

but he actually has a heart of gold and does'nt mean to act so bold.

He loves cuddles and scratches behind his big ears

and he's been living at Trohanny for years and years.

Breffni's quite the ladies man and legend says it's so

that when he was a younger lad he'd a hundred girlfriends on the go.

All the farmers dairy cows were in love with his big charm,

I'm told they used to fight over him getting milked down on the farm.

One day he got distracted caught up in having fun,

he'd disappeared from his paddock and had gone off on the run.

Nobody could find him though they all searched high and low,

and everyone was interviewed but noone seemed to know,

except one of the horses who said (whilst eating hay)

that she saw a funny looking cow, not black and white but grey!

The story was that Breffni had got caught up in the going,

he was singing love songs to the girls while they were gently lowing.

So he did'nt see the milking parlour as he slowly trotted in,

he was far too busy crooning and making quite a din.

So the farmer got an awful shock when he saw this cow was wonky

he went to milk one of the herd but it was actually a donkey!

Breffni realised far too late and tried to bray "i'll pass"

but the farmer had the sucky cups out and they got stuck right on his ass!!

So now our old gent lives out his days happy to stay put.

But at times he gets a notion and a very itchy foot

and he goes out for a wander with the ladies black and white

and he sings his songs of love and loss and brays with all his might.

and he'll go towards the parlour but stop coz he's not dumb..

as he still remembers those sucky cups

and the marks still on his bum!!

From 'The tails of Trohanny Cottage' by Áine Mc Garry 2022